When Everyone Around You Still Smokes
By Fred H. Kelley
It's a common problem: You are trying your best to
quit smoking but everyone around you still smokes. If
you have a spouse or other family member who smokes, you
are exposed to smoking every day. If your co-workers
smoke, you probably have smokers around you at least
five days per week. If your friends smoke, you'll be
exposed to smoking whenever you get together to have
some fun.
So how do you maintain your resolve to quit when
everywhere you look you see someone lighting up? How do
you deal with the personal conflicts that can develop
when you quit but your family, friends and
co-workers don't?
First, you must acknowledge the fact that you may be
all alone in your efforts to quit smoking. This solitude
may be frustrating and counter-productive but you must
accept the fact that the people around you are not going
to quit smoking just because you are. In fact, they may
try to coerce or encourage you to start smoking again.
When you quit you may be placing pressure to quit
smoking, however unintentional, on the people in your
life . They may resent it or be frightened by your
quitting. Their natural, perhaps unconscious, response
may be to make quitting more difficult for you.
So prepare yourself for the loneliness you may feel
when you quit. Prepare yourself for the backlash that
you may receive from the smokers around you. Be prepared
to forgive and forget.
Next, take time to talk to the smokers in your life.
Ask them for a few minutes to discuss the fact that you
are quitting smoking. Sit down and let them know how
very important quitting is to you. Tell them that you
need their support and ask them to be considerate
whenever they want to smoke. Make sure they understand
that you are quitting for you, not for anyone else. Make
sure they understand that you do not expect them to quit
because you are quitting. Invite them to quit with you
but make it clear that quitting must be their own
decision.
Lay out some ground rules that everyone can live
with, regarding where and when they will smoke. Make it
clear that you don't expect them to totally change their
smoking habits, but that you need cooperation to help
you quit. Set clear times and locations for them to
smoke, or make sure you have someplace you can
comfortably retreat to, should the smoker in your life
need to light up. Make sure you have something to
distract your attention, in another room, if someone is
smoking near you. Start a new hobby or have a book
on-hand, whenever you have to get away from the smoke.
When you get together with friends, you may find that
the activities you participate in naturally involve
smoking. Try going to a bar or bowling alley without
having smoke all around you (unless you live in an area
where smoking is banned indoors)! You may find it
necessary to adjust the types of things you do with your
friends, to help you avoid being placed in a smoking
situation. Try activities that are outdoors, or that
involve exercise. Go places where smoking isn't allowed.
If your friends are truly your friends, they'll
understand and want to accommodate your needs.
Avoiding smoke at work may be difficult if your
workplace allows smoking indoors. If necessary, request
that your work area be moved to a non-smoking portion of
your office. You may also ask to have your entire office
declared "smoke-free." Consider getting an air
filter to help remove the smell of smoke where you work.
If you have grown accustomed to your smoking breaks
and the smoking buddies at your workplace, you face
another type of withdrawal besides nicotine withdrawal:
friendship withdrawal. Chances are, if you've worked
someplace with a designated smoking area for any length
of time, that you have made quite a number of friends or
smoking buddies. If you're going to quit smoking
successfully, you're going to have remove yourself from
the smoking area. Naturally, this means removing
yourself from the friends you've made. Realize, however,
that just because you don't smoke with these people, you
don't have to stop being friendly. Let your smoking
buddies know that you are quitting, and that you won't
be joining them any longer. But also let them know you
wish to continue your friendship. Exchange phone numbers
if necessary, and try to get together for lunch or other
times convenient to both of you.
Quitting smoking even when other people around you
are smoking doesn't have to be difficult and a strain on
interpersonal relations. Take some time to create an
atmosphere where everyone knows that you are quitting
and that you need their cooperation to succeed. At the
same time, be considerate of the other smokers, giving
them their own freedom to smoke when they so choose.
Working together with family, friends and co-workers,
you can quit!
** Article © Copyright Fred Kelley of QuitSmoking.com. Visit the web site at
http://www.quitsmoking.com
for great information and products designed to help you quit smoking.
